How Should You Handle That Challenging Kiddo??

You’re ready!  Your classroom is set up.  Your lessons are planned.  You have your behavior management, rewards, and consequences in place.  You are so ready, excited, and maybe a little nervous (don’t worry, I’m nervous too, and this is my 23rd year teaching!).  You’ve got this teacher!  You’re going to be awesome, and your new students are going to LOVE you and your class!  I mean, they get to come in and sing, dance, play instruments, and have SO.MUCH.FUN!  The most important thing to remember is that if you’re having fun, so are your students.  Of course we want them to learn, but we also know that the more they enjoy something, the better they remember it!

Let’s talk about what happens next.  Most of your students are going to be seriously, amazingly well behaved for the first month.  Of course, you’ll have a few, but they are on their best behavior just like you!  They’re excited and happy to be back at school.  Fast forward a month or two, and you will start to see some behavior (at least I hope it’s at least a month or two).  Realistically, you are going to see some behavior that isn’t exactly what you want to see.  Pretty soon, those students, (the challenging ones that are starting to get to know you and figure out how to push your buttons) are going to start leading the class along the path of merry mischief!  Let’s take a closer look at how to handle that kiddo.

Set up rules and procedures – Children thrive on structure, and they like to know what the rules are and what to expect from their teachers.  This creates an predictable, safe atmosphere in which they can learn.  Spend the first month of school creating a warm, nurturing environment.  Discuss the rules and consequences, take time to get to know your students’ names, and spend some time having fun.  Games with very basic music skills work best.

Be consistent – Your students are going to test the limits.  This is their job as little people.  You may not like it, but you should absolutely expect it.  They want to know if you’re going to actually give out the consequences, or if you’re going to let misbehavior happen.  For me, the most challenging part of being a new teacher was not only (believe it or not) noticing the behavior, but then following through with the consequence.  I would think to myself, I’ll just let it go this time.  I don’t want to start with consequences so soon. I’ll give out consequences the next time it happens.   This is NOT a good way to start.  What happened next was that my students, who had started the year being little angels, began talking, falling out of their chairs on purpose, and generally hijacking my class in any way they could.  Exit any possibility for learning!  Here’s what I recommend:

• Set the rules and procedures
• Practice the procedures until they are perfect
• Give a warning
• Give a consequence

Remain calm – This can sometimes be difficult, but the best way to help your students is to model good behavior yourself.  I literally never yell in my classroom.  I speak to my students calmly and respectfully. I’ve tried to create consequences that don’t require any speaking.  For example, if a student is playing an instrument out of turn, I walk over and hold out my hand.  I don’t say anything.  I just take the instrument and put it in the front of the classroom (They get it back in 5 minutes).  If someone or several someone’s are talking while I’m giving instructions, I take away HP (see my previous blog post about behavior management for more info about this:  https://thehappymusicteacher.com/behavior-got-you-down/). If I do need to speak to them, the first thing I say is that I’m sorry they have chosen to act in a certain way.

Use non-confrontational body language – No matter what you do, or how consistent you are, there will be students who are just going to act up.  This is NOT a reflection on you.  This is a child’s way of telling you something is bothering them, because they don’t have the capacity or vocabulary to actually talk to you about it.  If you do have to speak to a child, here are some tips to help things go smoothly:

• Be sneaky – try to pull the student aside as the class is leaving so you don’t call attention to them.  No one likes to be publically embarrassed
• Appear friendly – smile, look helpful, and stand beside them instead of in front of them.  This helps them to feel less confronted and more like you’re trying to help them.
• Ask questions – try to find out what’s going on by actually asking something like, “What happened in there, or is there something I can do to help you?”
• Create a super hero – I’ve adopted this phrase from the art teacher at my school.  We try to point out something positive about the student we are talking to.  For example, “You are a natural leader.  All of the other students in this class look up to you, and when you behave like that, they think it’s o.k.  (Here’s the best part) Use your super powers for good instead of evil.”  I can’t tell you how many times a child has turned around because I start out by pointing out something positive before we talk about what happened in class.

Talk to your colleagues – Sometimes there’s more going on than you know about.  Often, the music teacher is the last to know an important detail, because someone doesn’t think to tell you.  If you are having a consistent problem with a student, reach out to their classroom teacher or the guidance counselor to find out if this is a consistent behavior, and it so, what they are doing to handle things.  You’ll be surprised how happy your colleagues are that you are taking an interest.

Reach out to the parents – Sometimes the only recourse you have is to send an email or make a phone call to a student’s parent or guardian.  Start out with a positive about the child.  Remember that you are talking about the most important person in their life; their heart and soul.  Then talk about their child’s behavior calmly.  Ask for their help.

Dealing with student behavior is often the most difficult part of your job as a teacher.  You are NOT alone.  Behavior management is not easy, and it’s not fun.  But it is necessary.  Without a consistent plan in place, your classroom becomes a playground.