Are You a Brand New, First Year Music Teacher? Part 1

Children want you to love them!

Many first year teachers struggle with behavior management.  It’s not that you don’t know how to do it.  It’s more that there are SO.MANY.OF.THE.THINGS to keep in mind!  You have your lesson plan; your learning goals; your over-arching curriculum; your admin possibly coming in to observe you; all of those little kiddos staring at you, just waiting to hear what you have to say…NOT!  They are NOT staring at you and waiting patiently.  They are falling out of their chairs or rolling backwards on the floor.  They are talking to their neighbors (thanks 5th graders!)  They are being silly and doing all the things.  Here’s what you need to know:

1. 1. Every One of your students wants you to love them.  Even your 5th graders.  Even the ones who are challenging you every day.  In fact, especially the ones who are pushing your buttons.  A wise principal once told me that children who misbehave are doing so because they just don’t have the band-width or the vocabulary to tell you what’s wrong, so they show you in everything they do.
   2. Most misbehaving children come with a sad story.  Those who are ALWAYS pushing your buttons ALWAYS come with a sad story.  They may be struggling with a physical or mental challenge.  They may have parents at home who are arguing or even divorcing.  They may be recently homeless or a parent just went to jail.  Or it may not be that dramatic. Maybe they stayed up too late and are tired.  Maybe they’re hungry.  Think about how hard it is to concentrate and do your job when you are struggling with a challenge at home.  Now imagine that you’re 7.  Your brain is far from fully developed, and you’re trying to deal with all of that.
   3. Every child WANTS to behave well.  Don’t roll your eyes at me!  I’m being serious.  I always think about those students who struggle with ADHD.  When their adults figure out a good solution, whether it’s diet and exercise or medication, those students who aren’t struggling as much are ALWAYS so PROUD of themselves when they can behave well.  Your students really, truly want to behave.  They want their teachers to smile at them and be happy about their behavior.
   4. Every child wants your attention.  Some children have learned that negative behavior is the best way to get an adult’s attention.  Not every child comes from a household where there are two loving, caring, involved parents.  Those children have learned that in order to get the attention of an adult, they have to misbehave.  So that’s what they do.  If you want them to exhibit positive behavior, you have to SHOW them how.  You can read more about this in my previous blog post, but the best way to do this is to pay attention, and every time you see them behaving well, compliment them.Give them a reason to behave well.
   5. Socio economics can play a huge role in how your students behave.  Teaching children who live in poverty comes with its own special and unique challenges.  I’m not talking about parents who are struggling to make ends meet.  I’m talking about families who are in severe poverty.  These children grow up in a society where the rules are different, and the obstacles they have to overcome are dramatically different than those of the typical middle class student. I recommend a book called A Framework for Understanding Poverty to help you learn about these hidden rules and strategies to help students in poverty.

I find that keeping these ideas in mind when I’m teaching helps me to deal with every student who comes into my classroom.

• Try to remember that your students are someone’s heart and soul.  They are sending you their most precious gift and expecting you to love them as much as they do.
• Try to stay patient and breath deeply through challenging behavior.
• Try to smile at your students as much as possible, even when they are making you crazy.
• Try to be silly for them and with them.
• Try to listen more than you speak.
• Above all things, do not yell.  Children HATE to be yelled at, and it will make you feel worse in the end.  Step away if you find that you are losing your temper.

This is part 1 of a 5 part series.  Stay tuned next week for more helpful tips for first year music teachers!